My second toastmaster speech in the USA. It is an imaginary speech that I will give to Katie on her wedding night, too bad that I could not go back in time for her wedding.
XXXX
Hello, everybody. For those who don't know me, my name is Kerry. I am Katie's maid of honor.
Looking around the room, I have seen many smiling faces, who are happy to be here to celebrate the union of Keng Kar and Katie or happy that there is free flow of alcohol tonight. (I do not know)
Katie and I have known each other ever since high school. Being best friends for 15 years is a blessing for both of us, but it also bothers Katie tonight. Though she did not tell me personally, I believe she has asked our friends to keep an eye on my alcohol intake. She knows that when I am drunk, I would embarrass myself by repeating unnecessary stories related to her.
Katie, being thoughtful has been your trademark. Thanks for always taking care of me. I can't help myself to feel like returning your many years of kindness tonight. So, I decided not to talk about the good looking man in our radar, our crazy girl night-outs and stupid stories about exes. Then, I realized there is nothing left for me to talk about until I had a few glasses of vodka (pause) yesterday night. (joke aside)
After the vodka, I have scribbled down some words for you, Keng Kar. It is the proper feeding and caring tips of Miss Katie Heng.
Number one - when she is in the kitchen slapping the cabinet doors and swinging the refrigerator door, it means she is hungrily lost. There are three words to make all of these stop. That is McDonald French Fries. It is her favourite. She craves for it all the time.
The second thing you must know - Katie sleeps as early as a baby. Unless the house is on fire, Katie should be on bed by 11pm, else you are held responsible in making nose plugs for her running nose the next morning.
The most important thing of all is to love her, to pamper her and don’t ever forget her birthday. Getting a gift for her is just a piece of cake. You just have to count all the colours of the plain tanks in the cupboard, get the missing colour in size 0 and you should be able to stay in this relationship for the next 50 years. If she decided to stop her tank top collections, don’t panic. Work harder, earn more money. Tiffany and co. is always Katie’s best friend.
Katie, Keng Kar, I know the past few weeks has been stressful for you. (Believe me, I know. You don’t hold special title in a wedding for no reason.) But, when you look back many years down the road, you most likely forget the food you are eating or the flower displays right now. The only memory you should carry with you is you are surrounded by family and friends, who love you and bless your wedding.
Keng Kar, would you please place your hand on top of Katie’s hand now. (There is a point of this. I will get to it soon.) Keng Kar, please remember this moment because this is probably the last time she will allow you to have the upper-hand. Congratulation, my dear friends. Let’s toast for the bride and groom.