Phew, one more to go to finish my CC module. But, the last topic is supposed to be an inspiring speech. Seriously, God, I need idea for a 10-minute speech!
Before my further groaning, the following is my CC9 attempt. :)
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When I was a teenager, I grew up by reading and embracing “Sweet Valley”. The books normally centered on the lives and romance of the Wakefield twins. The boyfriends always surprised the twin with romantic arrangements, showered the twin with love and lavished the twin with affection. That was my first impression about relationship. When I shared my dream of a perfect relationship with my male acquaintance many years ago, he said agitatedly, “I wish you girls don’t mix up between fantasy and reality.”
Back then, I was puzzled that my simple statement regarding romantic guy would stir up the emotional distress in my friend. Until many years after in a relationship, I finally understood his frustration as well as underwent my frustration phrase. I always got upset that my boyfriend did not know what I wanted to eat, what I wanted to drink, what I wanted to do or what I wanted to watch in the cinema. Believe me or not, the volcano erupted at least a hundred times and yet he still made the same mistakes again and again!
The situation continued until this one day that I was enlightened by an article regarding the myth of a romantic man. The columnist gave many examples to indicate that a not romantic man was not contributed by a flaw in the man’s attitude, but it was due to communication inefficiency between partners. After reading the article, I slowly implemented the suggestions by the columnist. Gradually, my boyfriend was getting better and better in understanding me as well as being more romantic. After successfully “transforming” my boyfriend to a lovely Casanova, I realized that the few years of quarrels were actually a result due to two major myths.
The first myth goes something like this, “If he loves me, he would notice what I like and I shouldn’t have to tell him.” However, a woman might be surprised to learn that your boyfriend is sillier than your pets. Sometimes, I suspect that man is born with the incapability to sense the emotions and pick up the body languages in nature. One thing I learned throughout many years of relationship is that man is not born with the talent of reading woman mind. Probably, my boyfriend doesn’t think the way I do; therefore, he usually gives up thinking what I want.
The second myth is actually derived from the first myth. When a man failed to impress his lady for enough of times, he will eventually seal himself in the cocoon and have a self-fulfilling prophecy that “Man is not romantic”. In order to avoid him to get into this trap, woman should try to help and encourage her boyfriend whenever he does something nice.
After having stated the two myths, I am going to share with you my secret recipe in nurturing a Casanova. If you consistently following the steps, I believe your boyfriend will do it again and he will do it better over time!
1. Set a clear expectation
2. Give him a list of ideas and suggestions in how to reach the expectation
3. Don’t give up on what you want as this will drive the two of you to the false prophecy that “Man is not romantic”
4. Don’t complain if it is not exactly the way you want it. But, sit down peacefully to have constructive discussion with him.
5. Lastly, adore him when he does something you like.
As far as I can tell, having a romantic guy or being a romantic guy is not a mere impossible mission. For the guys, you just have to keep on doing the love assignments while for the lady, you just have to give the right inspirations and training to your man. Remember correcting the misconception regarding “a romantic man” is not a sole effort from the man. But, it is an obstacle for a couple to conquer together!
Before my further groaning, the following is my CC9 attempt. :)
+++
When I was a teenager, I grew up by reading and embracing “Sweet Valley”. The books normally centered on the lives and romance of the Wakefield twins. The boyfriends always surprised the twin with romantic arrangements, showered the twin with love and lavished the twin with affection. That was my first impression about relationship. When I shared my dream of a perfect relationship with my male acquaintance many years ago, he said agitatedly, “I wish you girls don’t mix up between fantasy and reality.”
Back then, I was puzzled that my simple statement regarding romantic guy would stir up the emotional distress in my friend. Until many years after in a relationship, I finally understood his frustration as well as underwent my frustration phrase. I always got upset that my boyfriend did not know what I wanted to eat, what I wanted to drink, what I wanted to do or what I wanted to watch in the cinema. Believe me or not, the volcano erupted at least a hundred times and yet he still made the same mistakes again and again!
The situation continued until this one day that I was enlightened by an article regarding the myth of a romantic man. The columnist gave many examples to indicate that a not romantic man was not contributed by a flaw in the man’s attitude, but it was due to communication inefficiency between partners. After reading the article, I slowly implemented the suggestions by the columnist. Gradually, my boyfriend was getting better and better in understanding me as well as being more romantic. After successfully “transforming” my boyfriend to a lovely Casanova, I realized that the few years of quarrels were actually a result due to two major myths.
The first myth goes something like this, “If he loves me, he would notice what I like and I shouldn’t have to tell him.” However, a woman might be surprised to learn that your boyfriend is sillier than your pets. Sometimes, I suspect that man is born with the incapability to sense the emotions and pick up the body languages in nature. One thing I learned throughout many years of relationship is that man is not born with the talent of reading woman mind. Probably, my boyfriend doesn’t think the way I do; therefore, he usually gives up thinking what I want.
The second myth is actually derived from the first myth. When a man failed to impress his lady for enough of times, he will eventually seal himself in the cocoon and have a self-fulfilling prophecy that “Man is not romantic”. In order to avoid him to get into this trap, woman should try to help and encourage her boyfriend whenever he does something nice.
After having stated the two myths, I am going to share with you my secret recipe in nurturing a Casanova. If you consistently following the steps, I believe your boyfriend will do it again and he will do it better over time!
1. Set a clear expectation
2. Give him a list of ideas and suggestions in how to reach the expectation
3. Don’t give up on what you want as this will drive the two of you to the false prophecy that “Man is not romantic”
4. Don’t complain if it is not exactly the way you want it. But, sit down peacefully to have constructive discussion with him.
5. Lastly, adore him when he does something you like.
As far as I can tell, having a romantic guy or being a romantic guy is not a mere impossible mission. For the guys, you just have to keep on doing the love assignments while for the lady, you just have to give the right inspirations and training to your man. Remember correcting the misconception regarding “a romantic man” is not a sole effort from the man. But, it is an obstacle for a couple to conquer together!